Sometimes I marvel at my ability to analyze. I do not know if that is because I'm an engineer by training. An engineer's job is to solve problem and in order to do that, they would have to analyze the problem first. Over the years, besides learning the the facts of the physical world, systematic approach of problem solving is also being taught in school. Having spent the second half of my academic life learning the trades of an engineer, it is little wonder that I have come to be a solid 'analyzer'.

There has been many happenings surrounding me (doesn't involve me though) in recent weeks. How it these happenings eventually turn out, I was able to 'predict' it. I was to visualize how these events would turn out to be in my head. All that is based on my prior knowledge. In time to come, all that I visualized came true.

Unfortunately, I didn't have that kind of ability when it comes to myself. Sad indeed. My prediction of myself tend to be skewed. In fact, it didn't even come close. I guess that is also the very reason why doctors don't treat their own illness.

Perhaps I should start to moonlight as a fortune teller.

Whatever you are going through now, is indeed torturous and painful. I'm sad that there is just so much I can do for you. Nevertheless, I will pray for you everyday that you will be able to find an answer soon.

However difficult it might be, do take care of yourself. Get well soon.

I know that it has been a roller coaster ride recently for you. I know you feel terrible, as a bystander, I can even feel it coming from you. I can imagine how terrible you must have felt. It hurts me to see you in such confusion and frustration.

I can understand what you are going through right now. I know you are a very strong gal and that you will be able to go through this difficult period intact. There is just so much that I can do for you as a brother and the best thing that I can do is to offer you some advice.

It is in doubt that when our usual pillar of strength is not there for us, we tend to find it more difficult to get through in life. Especially when we are faced with problems. Worst still, when it has something to go with our feelings. I have said many things to you prior to this blog entry and I'm quite sure that you digested those words well. So I'm not going to repeat myself here.

What I wish to get to you is that you will need to believe in yourself. Believe that there is a way out for yourself. I believe you can do it so I hope that you do too. I know it is tough for you right now but as alway, my ears are always available. I can be your temporary grab pole anytime anywhere. But ultimately, I want you to be able to stand on your own without the need of a support. You are stronger and smarter then you know. I'm sure you will be able to figure a way out for yourself. Irregardless of what your decision might be, me as your brother, will always stand by you, like the way your family does.

Felicia, 加油!!!

What would you do when you are really frustrated with something and then you will have to make a decision at that instance? It may be job related, it may be personal, the point is what would you do?

It is really easy to become irrational when we get angry or frustrated. We often ended up making bad decision as a result. It may involved work, like say somebody screw up certain process and it ended up with you requiring to rework.

If you are require to make decision at that point of time, I strongly suggest you delay that decision making. For the past week, I ran into several of such instances. What I did was, I delayed that decision making until when I'm less angry or less agitated. Looking back, I felt that I had handled the situation/problem in a more appropriate fashion. I believe I would have made the situation worst if I haven't delay that decision making.

So here is a little tip for you - get yourself focus on something else if you are really angry/pissed off/frustrated. Get your mind off that issue for a while. Come back again to attend to it later when you are feeling better. It is also something akin to negative feedback.

Time flies. With a blink of an eye, another week is gone and another brand new week awaits. Ever since I started working, the amount of spare time that I have for personal activities have been significantly reduced. But of the things that I'm not willing to sacrifice is workout. I'm determined to make it part of my routine everyday (or at least twice a week) for the rest of my life. I do not believe in 'pampering' myself or my body with all kinds of nice stuff and in the end, all I get is unhealthy fats.

There are also a whole line of activities which I intend to undertake once I get into my job fully. Right now, I do not think that it would be wise to commit to any activity since currently, I'm in the honeymoon period. I'm still waiting for my SDU membership to come so that I can take a look at the activities or workshops available (at discounted rates). Further to that, I wanna learn another language. I have always wanted to learn German and now that I'm working in a German company, I guess it will be a 一石二鸟 to learn it now. The last thing in my pipeline will be to get a diving license. Oh yes, I love the sun man and what is a better way to enjoy the sun other then at sea?

And so, these are the things that I have set out to achieve. I'm equally determine to balance work, play and life. It will be a primary philosophy for me now.

A beautiful song which packs a lot of meaning, at least to me.



A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

After examining the satellite pictures from Google Earth, I managed to pinpoint my error while running yesterday. Indeed, I missed a turn at Hougang Stadium.


Instead of turning left, I realized that I proceed straight (indicated by the arrow), which resulted in me running towards Sengkang and eventually got lost there eventually. Of course I could have easily turn around and head backwards but I was stubborn and thought I could figure a way back onto my planned route. It was a big mistake as I head deeper into Sengkang. All the buildings look the same to me and caused me to run round in circle couple of times.

Will try this route again next week and hopefully I won't be so dumb to get myself lost again.

The operation was a great success! It took me less then 5 minutes to find what I was looking for. Now it's time to plan my next operation, codename Operation Box Drop.

Code name : Operation Hide & Seek

D-Day : 261106

H-Hour : 0500

Wish me luck !

The worst thing that can happen when I'm running is getting lost. Yes, I lost my way while running. I lost my way at Sengkang and then at Hougang.

Yes, yes, yes. I know you are laughing. Laugh as loud as you want. I do not know what has gotten into me. I do not know why I got lost.

I planned for it using Google Earth but I think I missed a turn and ended up in Sengkang. The worst thing is that the sign board there didn't give me a clue as to where I can get out of it. All I see is direction for different parts of Compassvale. I was running in circle at Hougang Mall area. I was fortunate to be able to figure a way back to Hougang after some clueless bashing. Then I got lost in Hougang. Missed a turn and ended up running in circle.

By that time, I was maxed out. I can feel that my legs were on the verge of getting cramps. I was dehydrated. When I got to the area that I was familiar with (Hougang Ave 8) I didn't have the energy to run anymore. I walked from Hougang Ave 8 back to my house.

I didn't know what happen. But certainly, the run was more then the planned 7km. I think it was about 10km. I still cannot believe that I actually got lost running. Yes yes, I know you are laughing, I know you are going to tease the hell out of me the next time you see me. Sigh... What a disgrace....

I do not know what is happening, every time when I'm free, the world around me seem so busy. And when I'm very busy, the whole world seems so free. What the hell is wrong man!

My schedule for today is ruin again. Was supposed to visit Sebas this afternoon but Pauline last minute told me that her sis is having house warming and she have to go. Hoe and gang is not available and so is Serene. Eimeng and Chris are having their exams. Great, I'm left with nothing to do today.

And tomorrow, I have my Operation Hide & Seek which requires me to wake up at 0530. Chow just called me and said the gang is having lunch tomorrow. That means I will have to squeeze in Sebas visit in between. ARghh.... what the hell man!

This is really really really... crazy!

Transformer has been my best childhood cartoon of all time. I can still remember how I rush back to home after school just to be in time to watch it. Its toys packs many mechanical parts in order for the transformation from a car to a robot possible. Coming from a less well to do family, I never have the chance to own one of these toys. It has alway been a dream to be able to own one. The price of Transformer toys have sky rocket since it is out of production. It has been a dream for me to be able to own one of it.

Anyhow, Transformer the movie has been in production for quite some time now. It began production some 2 to 3 years ago and will be due in cinema next year April. Some of the production pictures have been leak out onto the internet recently.

Below is a picture of BumbleBee.

It has got to be the most terrible day at work today. I was literally fighting a war with the z-monster throughout the day. Every 10 minutes of reading, I will doze off. How bad can I get? I slept at 0300 yesterday. I woke up at 0630. Simple math will tell you that that is just slightly more then 3 hours.

Although I got home at just about midnight, I waited for Felicia to get home before I turn in. She left the KTV session quite early yesterday. I could sense something was wrong because she was rather starring into blank spaces on and off. And when she left earlier, it only serve to conclude my assessment of her. She does not have that kind of habit of walking off earlier to meet another bunch of people. Before she left I asked her whats wrong and she asked if she can talk to me over phone later that night.

And when she did call, it was about 0200 already. It really saddens me to see her in such a state of confusion and predicament. I can feel that she is less happy and that her big bright smile is gone. Even if there is, it wasn't a smile that comes from her heart. Anyhow, when it has something to do with relationships, there is just so much I can do for her as a brother. I really do hope that her problems will be sorted out soon so that I can see the lovely Felicia once again.

As for me, I'm gonna catch some sleep. My eyes are barely open.

Met up with my ex-colleague at Pacnet. Although most of them were from Customer Service department (i'm from Technical Support), but having liaise with them before, it aint that bad. Felicia (my 小妹) and Delicia (good friend) were there too. We had dinner over at NYDC@Hereen before heading over to Party World for KTV.

Felicia and Linda were infected with 职业病 as they rattle away about work related stuff. I couldn't stand it and 'told them off'. I mean come'on, we are out to do some catching up, surely not catching up with work related stuff right? Anyhow, my words were ignored.

Delicia just came back from Taiwan and she brought along her camera to show us the pictures that she took over there. Looking at those pictures, it brought back many beautiful memories when I was there a few months back. Really wished that I can go back there. Taiwan is a beautiful island, less the politics there. If I have the opportunity to be stationed at Taiwan to work, I will definitely be the first to volunteer myself.

The KTV was full too. The gals got a lot of songs, some of which were pretty hard to sing. We tried, some of which, failed miserably. We simply couldn't match the pitch. It is also the first time that I got the chance to hear my 小妹 sing. I must say she is damn good! Am really impress by her singing. She bugged me to sing a duet with her, but sadly, I do not know any of it. It is very seldom that I sing duet since most of the time, I go KTV with a bunch of guys. Well, I think it is about time that I learn one so that next time I can sing with my ah gal.

I was tired at the end of it but enjoyed myself throughout. The staff at Pacnet used to be one big family. I have enjoyed working there and most importantly got myself a really nice bunch of friends.

I could see the things in front of me but somehow I thought I was deaf for a while. Images of the surrounding went past me, leaving behind a trail of light, as if I'm taking a photograph using a slow shutter speed. I grasping for air. This is not my normal pace. I was running at a higher tempo then usual.

The intense feeling in me is driving me to go even faster. It is strong. It is the fuel for my run tonight. As I ran past Chomp Chomp, somehow it was like the world in front of me became a scene on a DVD playback. Somebody pressed the paused button, then play again. What came into me at that instance? I do not know and I didn't think too much about it either. This is about running.

I enjoy running although I used to hate it so much. People would usually go clubbing to relax themselves but I have chosen to run instead. I don't believe in drowning myself in alcohol and smoke and consider that a form of relaxation. There is just too much harm rather then good. Life is short, don't make it shorter.

By the time, I got to Sheng Siong (Serangoon Ave 5) I have over exerted myself. I'm having a stitch on my right side of my abdominal. It was painful, very painful. I clench my fist and ran even faster. Now, I have got a feeling that I'm running in space. My lungs are derived of air. The pain because of the stitch is fast becoming like a knife puncturing through my stomach. When I reach the end point, I have totally exhausted all my energy.

I fell to the ground. I could see the sky above me. I began to lost the world in front of me. I couldn't feel anything nor hearing anything. But the strange thing is I could still see the sky above me. Like the saying - its not your time yet, suddenly all my senses rush back into me, thankfully. I'm breathing so hard and rapidly that I just wish my lungs are bigger.

Up till now, my eyes are still fixated to the sky. I noticed this particular star, shining brightly in the sky. Standing out against the darkness surrounding it. This star is the brightest star tonight. It stands out like a big brother.

Our life is like a star. It is in no doubt that there are countless and endless amount of problems, akin to the darkness of the night. We have our life in our hands. How bright we want our life to be depends very much on ourselves. We have the power to make our life as bright as possible. If everyone wants to have a bright life, then imagine, the sky will be filled with beautiful shining stars. Then this world will be a much better place to live in isn't it?

It is amazing how the sight of a star can generate so much though in it. I think I lie on the ground for far too long. An auntie actually walk up to me and ask if I'm alright. So nice of her. I smiled and said that I was ok. I strolled back home, admiring that beautiful shining star up in the sky.

Pauline's 老二, Sebas, will be undergoing a surgery tomorrow morning to 'mend' a hole in his stomach. It is tough for this little boy. Admire his bravery especially so considering the amount of things he has had to go through since young. Pray that everything will go well tomorrow.

Been working for a week now. It was a boring and uneventful week at work. The engineers are rather busy and so they didn't have the time to go through with me some of the work related stuff. I have been sitting at my cubicle for most of the time, reading up some of the process work flow and documentation.

Imagine sitting down and reading continuously throughout the day, I really cannot take it man. It is way to boring. I need some actions!

Anyhow, my manager spoke to me today that I would need to help out with another engineer from another section as he has some urgent issues to attend to. I have just gotten my intranet account today. Hopefully tomorrow, I will be able to have something to work on.

Phrase : Throw 10

1. Coming up with $10 to have a decent meal.

That is the definition of throw 10. This is a lingo used by my army pals. The group consist of Andrew, Chow, Danny, Hoe and me. We got to know each other during our National Service. Andrew is currently working in a shift (night) environment and hence he has problems meeting up with us regularly unless it so happen that it is his off day. It has been a while since the four of us got together to have meal.

Chow took pain to organize this throw 10 meet up. Brave Danny took his chances and decided to fly us his Boeing 747 because he needs to watch a movie with his 真爱. So in the end, only the four of us could make it.

We went to this chinese restaurant at Plaza Singapura. It is one of Tung Lok (同乐) group of restaurant. The name is 老北京.


We ordered a 4 person set course. It is a 7 course dinner set, one soup, five dishes and one dessert.

Frankly, yesterday night was the first meet up with her again after about 3 years. It came as a surprise to me. I certainly did not expect her to call me so late last night. It caught me off guard. I do not know what to do or say to her. My mind became rather empty all of a sudden. In fact, I was very nervous when I actually saw her. Although we have know each other for close to 10 years, I do not know what has gotten into me that has caused me to feel so nervous.

Anyhow, I was grateful that her friends were very friendly and funny and that, has relieve me quite a bit.

It ain't no fun lying down to sleep
And there ain't no secrets left for me to keep
I wish the stars up in the sky
Would all just call in sick
And the clouds would take the moon out
On some one-way trip

I drove all night down streets that wouldn't bend
But somehow they drove me back here once again
To the place I lost at love, and the place I lost my soul
I wish I'd just burn down this place that we called home
It would all have been so easy
If you'd only made me cry
And told me how you're leaving me
To some organ grinder's lullaby

It's hard, so hard - it's tearing out my heart
It's hard letting you go

Now the sky, it shines a different kind of blue
And the neighbor's dog don't bark like he used to
Well - me, these days
I just miss you - it's the nights that I go insane
Unless you're coming back for me
That's one thing I know that won't change

It's hard, so hard - it's tearing out my heart
It's hard letting you go

Now some tarot card shark said I'll draw you a heart
And we'll find you somebody else new
But I've made my last trip to those carnival lips
When I bet all that I had on you

It's hard, it's hard, it's hard, so hard
It's hard letting you go
It's hard, so hard, it's tearing out my heart
But it's hard letting you go

What is your philosophy in life?

What is your guiding principle?

I always believed in putting others before me. I wanted others to be happy more then I want for myself for I feel that, only then will I be happy. Sometimes it is more satisfying to see smile then to be smiling ourselves.

I believe the world will be a better place everybody does that. Do you agree?

The day began very late for me. Slept through the night. It is very seldom that I get to sleep through the night peacefully. Woke up at about 1000 hours to get ready for my tennis game in the afternoon.

I was delighted to be able to find my gold chain while packing, as mentioned in my previous entry. I thought I had left it at the pool side 2 weeks back. Even search through my bag but somehow I couldn't find it. It appear out of nowhere as I took my bag out of my cupboard this morning.

The game in the afternoon was good too, except for sun. It was super hot. A good day for sun tanning but not tennis. Hoe and I were severally drained after 30 minutes of play. We were reduced to a 'crawl'. Having said that, despite the sun, I felt that I had a good game overall. I was dead tired when I got home. Dived into my bed and took a nap all the way till evening.

The biggest surprise came at night. I got a call from Shini. She just knock off from work and wanna have supper at Chomp Chomp but was not too sure of the way. She drove over to my place and I guided her to Chomp Chomp. She was with her friends. A bunch of hilarious people I must say. From from the time I saw them till we leave Chomp Chomp, they can't stop laughing! I'm really amazed by their ability to turn every single thing they talk about into a joke.They are really one bunch of fun loving people.

Anyhow, the call from Shini really caught me off guard. I was relaxing in my room watching TV when I got her call. It has been about 2 years since we last yet. I intend to show her the best of me but tonight, I didn't shave in the morning, went out to meet her in bermudas and slippers. Certainly not the best way man.

It was very entertaining throughout with their never ending laughter and jokes. In fact, they had problems eating since they were laughing 90% of the time. It is really nice to have friends of this kind. To me, friends is able joy and fun. I cannot imagine hanging out with a bunch of cold people.

To sum it up, today was in total contrast to yesterday where everything is falling apart. Now, how I wish everyday can be this good.

Miraculously, I found my gold chain! I do not know why I could not find it when I search my bag the other time. Today, as I pack my bag for my tennis game later, it slipped out from one of the compartment. It was in my bag all alone!

This chain is the only memento that I have got from my dad. I thought I had left it at the pool side when I went swimming a week back.

Now I'm gonna make sure my chain doesn't leave me a single second.

有多少爱能重来
多少人愿意等待
失去之后才明白
走进回忆的安排
一幕一幕的对白
上演我们的未来
期待
原来是一种伤害
心爱的人已离开
是我不该忽略你
给我的爱
现在我只想回到
最初的时候
不愿再让你泪流
心疼时候只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候
我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的请你握紧我的手
请你看看我
新的需要的你的我
一切从头

有多少爱能重来
多少人愿意等待
失去之后才明白
走进回忆的安排
一幕一幕的对白
上演我们的未来
期待
原来是一种伤害
心爱的人已离开
是我不该忽略你
给我的爱
现在我只想回到
最初的时候
不愿再让你泪流
心疼时候只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候
我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的请你握紧我的手
请你看看我
真的需要的你的我
只要你回头

现在我只想回到
最初的时候
不愿再让你泪流
心疼时候只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候
我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的请你握紧我的手
请你看看我
真的需要的你的我
只要你回头

So many things happen in a single day. So many screw up. So many screw up happening when I'm not in the best of my mood.

Don't feel good because of the problems with my family. Make worst by the hot afternoon sun when I'm wearing long sleeve shirt running around outdoor. Compounded by my mistress late for 1 hour when I met her. Bloody prata store at Suntec so freaking long. My legs were aching and I have to stand for coming to 10 minutes for that prata. Book the tennis court for 2 hours when Hoe & I can only play for 1 hour. Kenny pulling out of the JB trip which means that even if I wanna do a Brokeback Mountain also have problem. The train is so damn pack and I couldn't get a seat!

When you put fatigue, sucky mood and plenty of screw up together, you get the best combination for the most impatient man.

Franky, I can blow up anytime. I think Hoe will have a hard time from me tomorrow during tennis.

I need to sleep. I'm tired.

Life has its own ability to adapt to changes to the environment. In Darwinian terms, he called it evolution. The transition of one state to another. In layman's term, we can just can it change. The earliest crocodile has its ancestry linked with dinosaurs. There are many theories out there which explained how dinosaurs may be wiped out. The most popular being the impact from a meteor. Even if we assumed that perhaps the ancestors of crocodile may be lucky to escape death due to the impact of a meteor, comparing the the present earth to that of millions of years ago, there is a tremendous difference.

In a similar way, man has evolved (changed) over the years to cope with the changes of the environment. Both physically and psychologically. As we grow up, again we see changes to ourselves both physically and mentally as well. We are less then a meter tall at the infant stage, growing up to about 1.8 meters (typically). As we grow, our brain develops in terms of our intelligence and based on the knowledge acquired. Hence as a result, we our behavior changes too.

In short, as we grow up, we experience changes in ourselves. From a juvenile mind to that of a mature adult. For example we look at things differently as we grow. As a kid, we wish to have more playtime. But as an adult, we hoped for more money (again, typically).

I am no different either simply because I am a human being, with eyes, ears, nose etc. My life is full of ups and down, plenty of variety. I do not know if that is good or bad. One thing for sure is that the ups and downs have a dramatic influence in shaping who am I now. I have experience the peak (poly days) and the trough (uni days). And having transited from my uni days only recently, I feel that I have got out the worst and is at the stage of climbing up again. My uni life has been very difficult, plagued with all kinds of problems, from academic, to relationship, to money, to you name it, its there.

I'm very glad that I have walked out of those days. The positive thing about walking out of such pesky days is the fact that I am really out of it and also a stronger Brian. Looking bad from where I am now, I have learnt that I have to treat everyday as if it is my last (borrowed from Apple's Steve Jobs). We have the ability to shape the kind of life that we want. I have come to realize what I want in life and that I am moving forward to get it.

10 years down the road, I may be a different person from what I am now. Whether it is for better or worst, I do not know. But one thing I am sure is that I need to take positive actions in order to get the kind of life that I want. Change is inevitable. In fact, if we don't change then chances are, there is a serious problem.

In the same way, I have noticed the change in you (I know you are reading this). You are a confident and lovely young woman now. This was a stark contrast to your previous demure and timid self.

Change is inherent and part & parcel of our life. Like it or not, it is there. For better or worst, there is no way we can predict it or control it. The challenge for us is to handle that change appropriately. Only then, will we be able to get the best out of ourselves.

I stayed in hostel during my first year of uni. I was allocated a twin sharing room with another fellow student. He was a total stranger as the allocation was done by the Hall Office. Having to live together with another person whom I have no idea what kind of person he is makes me kinda uncomfortable. He can be one of those 'bad neighbour' and that means unpleasantries.

Thankfully, I have got some of the best gentleman that this earth has to offer as my roomie. His name, Terrance. He is a year older then I am. A very quiet and polite chap. I would say that it is really hard to come by such a nice person these days.

Anyhow, we didn't have any major issues while staying under one roof. He is a very considerate person and hence he will discuss with me if there is anything he wants to do with the room.

I met up with him for dinner earlier. It has been a while since we last met. The last time I met him was during convocation and that was like close to 5 months ago. It was over dinner that he mentioned that he has had problems with his current relationship. I kind off felt pity for the both of them for they seem to be the best couple around. Anyway, I tried my best to console him and gave him my 2 cents worth of advice. Hopefully it will be sufficient to give him some insights to the solution to his current relationship problems.

Sometimes I am amazed by my own ability to offer small advice to others but, when it comes to myself, I am become dumb all of a sudden. Perhaps it is the classical way of saying, it is easier said then done. Indeed, to say is as easy as breathing. But to do can be as difficult as Singapore soccer team qualifying for the World Cup finals. Most of the time, it is the initial inertia that is preventing us from taking the first step. Many a time, the first step is also a very big step for there is a lot of unknown. We do not know what will happen when we took the first step. The initial fear, if you like to call it.

In many situation, as adults we usually do know what we should do to overcome the problem in front of us. But it is the fear of taking the first step that is causing the problem to be much bigger then what we thought it is. My advice for you, reading this blog, is that do not be afraid to take the first step. If we set our mind to do it, then just do it. You will be surprised at how much we can achieve as a result and how much fulfilling our lives can be.

Make full use of our lives. We have a very high probability to be able to see the sun of tomorrow. There are many people out there, who are not as fortunate as us. They lived the day not knowing if they get to see the sun of tomorrow.

Do you like surprises? What kind of surprises do you like then? Small surprises in our daily life will definitely spice things up a little. Imagine if we were go through our life with monotonous routines. Surprises can bring about smile or even lighten up our mood sometimes.

But there are also surprises which can be very horrible. September 11, 2001 is one of those surprises which we wouldn't want to have. Sadly, it happened and for the 3000 or so people who received it, they never got the chance to see the sun of September 12.

I have quietly mail out a package on Sunday night. In it, is a little gift which I have bought for Shini when I was in Taiwan. We were supposed to meet up for dinner the following week after I came back from Taiwan. Unfortunately she has got a last minute meeting and hence we didn't get to meet in the end. This little gift has been sitting in my cupboard close to 2 months now. If I don't get it to her, soon it will become a Christmas gift.

Since neither Shini nor I have the time these few weeks (again, sigh...) to meet up, I have decided to mail it to her instead and in so doing, a little surprise for her as well. I know she has been very busy for the couple of weeks because of the calendar project. So I thought perhaps a small surprise for her would lighten her up and hopefully have her smiling brightly when she receives my mail. Now I really hope that she will be smiling when she receives my mail. I can understand that kind of feeling when one is super busy with work and then out of nowhere you receives something.

I got her SMS in the late afternoon. She has got the mail. I'm was really happy when she told me that indeed she was smiling when she got the gift. At least the gift has served it's purpose. The earth has another smiling soul.

If I have the magic to gives surprises to everybody so that at end of the day, everybody smiles, I will make sure that it happens to every single soul on earth.

And lastly, to Shini, hope you like the gift as well.

My mum likes to cook daily dishes with alcohol. She said a little bit of it is good for health. I say NONSENSE. She nearly got me killed for that.

I went for my night run earlier. Half way through the run, I felt a burning sensation all over my body. I start to scratch all over. It was like ten thousand ants biting me. I was beginning to become breathless. I stopped halfway and tried to figure out what is wrong with me. I can feel small bumps developing all over my body.

This is a familiar sight. I had it before. It is allergic reaction.

Thankfully, the 24 hours clinic is just nearly. I had just enough energy to crawl my way to the clinic before I concuss on the street.

The clinic assistant was shock to see me soak in sweat and look like a crab. Yes, by the time I got there, my body was completely red because of the rashes. The clinic assistant ushered me into the doctor's room immediately.

The doc gave me a jab and asked a couple of questions. In the end, he concluded that it should be the alcohol since I have always developed rashes after drinking.

I rested at the clinic for a good half and hour before I phone for my mum to come down to pay the bills. A good $80 bucks. Thanks...........

I'm staying away from alcohol for good.

The day began at 0620 today. It has been quite a while since I last woke up that early. This timing will be with me for quite a while. Had an early night yesterday because I was out with Kelvin and Hoe during the day. For some reason, the three of us were extremely tired. Anyhow, it helps in a way since i slept all the way through at night.

Everything was going as plan. No major screw up or whatsoever. The only hiccup came from the security, while I was making my proxy pass. For some reason, the computer has problem activating the card. The security officer gave up and told me to go back at a later time so that she can fix the machine. I was given a temporary pass for the time being.

My team leader gave me a tour of the plant in the morning. Showing me around the complex, explaining to me some of the processes as well as identifying to me that purpose of each machine. My team leader is a guy in his early forties (my guess). He gives me a very fatherly feeling. He speaks with air and is rather frank with his thoughts. He has that human touch I would say. A person who is more people oriented.

The rest of the team members are around the same age as me. Most of them are my seniors as they are from NTU previously. They are probably a couple of years older then me. We went for lunch together a the company's cafeteria this afternoon. I can feel that the team is rather close knit as the lunch talk is not just about work, but also some of them personal activities over the weekend.

Overall, the first day experience was pretty good. At least there isn't any culture shock or whatsoever. I do look forward to get into my job proper despite the fact that it wasn't something that I'm looking for in the first place. I believe every job has its challenges and that its up to individuals to discover it and turn it into a motivational force within.

I have lost the chain that my dad bought it for me when he struck 4D when I was young. I have lost the only memento that I have got from my dad.

Dad, I'm sorry.

I may have lost the chain that you bought, but you will still continue to live in my heart.

I guess the definition of growing up is about taking on responsibilities. As our responsibilities increases, it seems that the problems that comes along are bigger and more complex as well.

Part of growing up is about learning to cope with all the responsibilities that comes along. How to handle it in such a way that it will have minimum impact on our personal well-being. How to look at it so that it will not be a mental burden.

All of us have our set of problems. Each of different complexities. As the Chinese saying goes, 家家有本难念的经. No matter how big or small, life goes on. We shouldn't stop. There is nothing that is unsolvable in life. Just keep moving and slowly it will unfold itself.

Window to Our Soul is a community service project by the Singapore Management University. SMU has teamed up with local well-known photographer Russel Wong to create a black and white 18 months calendar, featuring portraits of ordinary members of the SMU community – students, parents, faculty, staff and senior administrators.

The calendars are priced at S$15 each, and every dollar will go directly to the Children’s Cancer Foundation.

Below is a preview of the calendar.



You can place your orders by clicking here.

I went for a 5km run at about 2200 hours. I have got the urge to run after watching this variety show called Fit The Bill on Channel U. It is reality show hosted by Vincent Ng & Belinda Lee and is about 10 guys and gals fighting out to be the fittest.

I have never run in the night before. Tonight is the first time that I am running late at night. The nice cool weather is making the run much easier. I am starting work on Monday so I guess in future, my running will be most probably be restricted to night.

Anyhow, I swam in the afternoon as well. The sun was bright when I left home for the pool. But as I got there, the sky gradually become very dark. I wanted to tan for a while but the dark clouds just wouldn't go away. In the end, I swam only about 10 laps and decided to leave. When I step out of the changing room, it was already drizzling.

I received my DBS second factor authentication device today. Kinda troublesome if you ask me. But I guess for security, I just have to make do with it. Now I have to carry this device together with my bunch of keys. Here is how it looks like.

There has been a lot of developments going on for me. The high and the low. I won't be touching on the low for it is something that I ain't to proud off. The consolation is that at least the family is coming together to go through this shit. It is weighing down on me for the past week. I will only know the outcome on the 17th. I really hope that it will end there and that the people involved learn their lessons and conduct themselves properly in future.

The previous weekend was filled with activities. For the first time Hoe and I had the chance to play on the hard court at SAFRA Yishun. Although the ball is a lot of faster and hence a faster pace, my strokes seems to be better as compared to the synthetic court. Personally, I would prefer to play on the hard court.

Anyhow, besides the game, the same Saturday evening the gang went out together to celebrate Kenny's & Eimeng's birthday. All the pictures are up in my previous entry already. And guys, if you wanna download the pictures, let me know, I will send you the link via MSN.

And of course there is my mum's birthday celebration back home. A little gathering cum celebration so to speak. I know mum is also affected by what has happened and hopefully this celebration will ease her of worries for the time being.

The last piece of good news would be that I have finally found myself a job. Will be heading to Infineon as a Product Engineer. The position is testing in nature. Although it is something that I didn't really like but I guess bread and butter is more important. I do not have the financial capability to sit idle at home so I guess I will just accept this for the time being. Hopefully it won't be a job that I will grow to hate over time. I went down to Infineon to sign the agreement this morning will be reporting for work next Monday.


It is amazing that I can go through so much festivities and decision making despite all the problem back home. In a way, the festivities had enabled me to focus on something else instead of all the unpleasantries. Frankly I felt a lot better now. I wouldn't have been able to without the partying of the gang. Love you guys!

There is also one person who has stretched her hands to make it much easier for me, and she is Shini. I really appreciate your kind words and sparing the time to listen to my problems. I have to say that a thank you is insufficient for your kind concern. You certainly deserve a meal from me for your gesture. Meal on me the next time I see you alright?

I have stopped and turn back to trace where I have come from. I have understand why I tripped and fall. Now I'm up on my feet again. I can see the path in front of me and I can feel the confidence in me, suppressed within me for the past week, beginning to flow all over me again. I'm all ready to enter the next phase of life as a working adult. Give it to me baby!

Despite the recent unpleasantries, the family still managed to get together to celebrate my mum's birthday. My two sisters gave my mum a off day by treating her to a nice meal at the coffeeshop nearby.

It was very crowded when we got there since it was a Sunday. My two little nieces came along as well. They were very excited too because my sisters have been telling them that it is 外婆's birthday. The two little imps can only associate birthday celebration to fun and hence the anticipation.

Celebrated Kenny's & Eimeng's birthday on Saturday. We had dinner at a hawker center at around Bukit Merah area. The area was pack with people when we reached there. Most of them were like us, having their dinner at this zi cha store. The queue was horribly long. Anyhow, we managed to secure a big round table after about 5 to 10 minutes of waiting.

We ordered lots of food, almost coming up to 10 dishes. From 药材鸡 to 油条, to BBQ stingray. And to round it off, nice cold sugar cane juice. We had lots of fun over dinner, plenty of laughter and jokes. All of us are busy with work and personal commitments. Such gathering is really hard to come by.

Teck and Chris had to leave earlier and the group is left with 2 couples - Kenny & Eimeng with their respective girlfriends, Yanfeng and me. Cheekeong joined us later because he just came back from Japan (biz trip). We went over to Kampung Chai Chee CC (Bedok) at the recommendation of Anna for KTV. While waiting for a room, Yanfeng, Cheekeong and I went down to Siglap to get a cake. Yanfeng recommended a ice-cream cake from Häagen-Dazs.

There are so many stuff in my head now. So much that I do not know which one to pay attention to first. It has been one hell of a week. Strange isn't it? I'm having all the time in the world and yet it seems like I have fought a hard a battle.

I guess I just have to stop and reassess myself. brb....

It is amazing how I can comfort people when they are down or run into some problems which they couldn't find a way and yet, when it comes to myself, I'm like a complete noob.

Yes, darkness is approaching. The whole is caving in on me again. Shit is on the horizon and is much bigger then I thought it would be.

Pray for me that I will still be in one piece after that.

I'm going for my second interview with Infineon tomorrow. Seriously, I am not too keen with the position but still, do I have a choice? My 'reserves' are running low, I'm sick and tired of sitting at home doing nothing meaningful.

Well I guess I would have to stick Felicia's mentality of 'act enthusiastic' again tomorrow. Get the job offering first. Decide later. Wish me luck!